Wednesday, September 27, 2017

The First Amendment For Dotards

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof

You might think that the establishment clause means that the government cannot establish a national religion or favor one -- or any -- religion over others, but that's because you are part of the immoral majority.  What this clause means is that the government cannot establish a religion other than Christianity.  And so we all must celebrate Christmas, and finally put an end to the long-running war on this sacred holiday.  Separation of church and state simply means that the government cannot tax churches.  It does not require, for example, the removal of a monument of the Ten Commandments at a state courthouse.  Just ask former Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore, now a Republican candidate for Senate, with the full support of the GOP, presumably because he promises to protect us all from the imposition of Shariah Law.  School prayer in public schools doesn't violate the separation of church and state either and should be encouraged as long as it is Christian prayer and as long as you don't take one knee, but take two.

Now, the free exercise clause means that the government cannot interfere with your exercise of religion if you are Christian.  Christians are free to impose their religion on everyone who is less godly -- Muslims, Jews, the LGBT community, and, of course, sexually-active women who want to be free to make their own decisions on reproductive health.  If you are a Christian businessperson who wants to discriminate against people in the LGBT community because you are offended by same sex marriage, then the government can't make you treat them equally as long as your bigoted views can be tied to your religious beliefs.  And finally, the government cannot impose a travel ban on Christians, but it can impose a travel ban on Muslims, as long as it also bans Venezuelans.

or abridging the freedom of speech

You are free to praise the President of the United States in whatever manner you choose.  Free speech, unlike the Second Amendment's right to bear arms, does, however, have limits.  You may not insult the current President or his family.  You may not call the President a racist, even if it is true.  If you do, the President can instruct your employer to fire you.  You may protest police brutality and police killings of African Americans but only in ways that won't offend the government or white people -- certainly not by taking a knee during the National Anthem at NFL football games.  That is because the Pentagon paid millions of dollars to the NFL to market patriotism, and protesting systemic racial injustice would violate that agreement.

or of the press

The press is free to report real news, not #fake news.  #Fake news is anything that is negative about the President, his administration, his political party and his family. It is up to the President to determine what is real news and what is #fake news.  Because the press keeps reporting fake news based on alternative facts it has become the enemy of the people.  The best way to ensure that the press reports real news that supports the President is to insult, intimidate and threaten them.

or the right of the people peaceably to assemble and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Freedom of assembly depends entirely on who is in the assembly and what they are assembling for.  Neo-nazis and white supremacists who want to celebrate our heritage of slavery and white terror may do so, especially if they are armed to the teeth.  Opposing such protests is an infringement on the free speech rights of these very fine people.  On the other hand, African Americans protesting acquittals of cops who kill African Americans is disrespectful to the police and our heritage, and therefore must be condemned.

Any questions?


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